Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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