Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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