I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
