I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
