I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i've created a new STD.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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