I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
