Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
