Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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