btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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