Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
