Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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