I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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