worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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