I heard we made out
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people