Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night