Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
