I think I am morally bankrupt
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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