I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
