ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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