dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
