Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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