windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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