How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
