I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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