Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
