Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
