Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize