I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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