i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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