a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.