I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
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No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.