You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can't motorboat a personality
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.