At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull