Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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