Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
