We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
