i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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