kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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