so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I need moral support for this bender
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have fence marks all over my body
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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