Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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