we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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