Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
