Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
