It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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