Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize