Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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