what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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