I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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