while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
