I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
