Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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