So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
