I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
