high people should be assigned attendants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
