I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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