you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
