I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
