Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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