Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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