I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
