Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love you. Go after that dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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